by Divorce Directory | Apr 24, 2017 | divorce
When the angry words darted over my head as I worked on my coloring book, I barely heard them. When I stepped over my father like a lumpy carpet, passed out in the hallway, inches from his bedroom, I merely giggled. When my mother quickly remarried and we needed to move from our home, I took a long last look at the huge tree on the wall of my pink room — stenciled by my mother, leaves falling, grass and white picket fence surrounding — picked up my favorite stuffed animal, a Dalmatian with a torn ear, and left.
Our new situation was different but not better. We upgraded from Brooklyn to the suburbs. We now had a pool, which I was afraid of, and a live-in housekeeper who hated my mother and resented me and my brother. There were two new stepbrothers and a stepfather whom my younger brother and I had met only a handful of times. We are all young, angry and scared, including the adults who fought even louder and dirtier than my mother and father had. Read more..
Published in The Washington Post by Alisa Schindler 11 March 2017
by Divorce Directory | Apr 23, 2017 | divorce
When parents contemplate divorce, it’s usually a long, intense, thoughtful process. It may start with intensive quarrelling or silent treatment building up over several years. Parents often are conflicted as to how a divorce will affect their children, so they take their time contemplating what to do. This makes good sense and often leads to problems being worked out and even divorce plans being suspended.
However, once the decision is made a separation occurs. This often involves one parent moving out of the house. At this point, children who have been worried for quite a while seeing the tension between their parents now need a clear explanation as to what is happening. Even the kindest most empathic children first want to know what changes are in store for them. They want to be assured of their safety and security and that their parents’ love for them is not compromised. Read more..
Published in The Huffington Post, witten by: Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Infant-Parent and Child Psychoanalyst; Author, ‘Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior’
